Summertime

Why is it that one day you can be the happiest person in the world and not even a day later, your whole world just feels empty? That's what I'm feeling like lately. Summertime started with my birthday and a recent move into my own place. Which was all very exciting for me, it's been something I really wanted to do. I'm living with a few good friends of mine and we all get along just like a family. Like a family, so much so, that I was named the son of the house. Partly because of behavior and partly because I was the only one without a girlfriend in the house yet. This aside, living in the new house has been pretty much I've expected it to be so far. I can't say that I'd ask for much more. During the early parts of our new move I had reconnected with a female friend from high school. We chatted a little and got along well, catching up on everything. I hadn't really thought much about this until we decided to hang out, and then it was a date. So we dated and hung out quite a bit, quite a bit so much that I was almost never home. Then once I finally thought it was going to work out, we made it official. As quickly as it started it was all over. That was it. This is where I am now and I don't really know how to express myself, so I'm writing this. For some reason this relationship ending so abruptly has really hit me hard. I didn't think so at first, but this morning I found myself thinking a lot about it. I'm not asking for advice and I don't know that I'm asking for her back. I don't really know what I want, but when you break up because of something that you had 0% to do with, it really hurts. Sorry this has to be such a sorry sounding and gloomy blog, I just needed to write about this. It's been a mixed bag of emotions that came with this break up and I fought the break up to the best of my ability, mainly because it was something I had no control over. I wanted to be there to help her and I wanted to help her get through things, but it sounded like I was just more of a burden to her and that we would get back together when it all ends (who knows if that's true). I was angry and tried to push my emotions of away and also sad. I feel bad for her in the sense of all the things she has to go through and but it also doesn't feel fair to me, to just throw everything away. Some might say I'm making too big a deal of this and "it's just a girl", but if that was the case, then there wouldn't be all these emotions right now. So, that's my blog today....I don't know that there is much more to say, but to just wait and see. Maybe it's best to just forget about it and move on, or maybe I should wait it out a little bit, but then again I might just be wasting my time to get hurt again. What a fucking world.